


Let Me Tell You a Tale, Shortman

by redbinderdiaries



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: Gen, episode, hey arnold - Freeform, shortman, steely phil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbinderdiaries/pseuds/redbinderdiaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot. Grandpa reminisces about a funny moment in his youth with Arnold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Tell You a Tale, Shortman

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story in the early 2000s, hence the script format. This was originally supposed to consist of a series of stories centered around Grandpa Phil's youth, culminating with the final chapter where Grandpa was supposed to finally make amends with his old friend, Jimmy Kafka.
> 
> I wrote this story before "Old Iron Man", and by the time the episode came out, I had lost interested in expanding on the series. (I wanted to write a story where Grandpa and Jimmy Kafka had a falling-out over a girl called Mona; ironically, there WAS a woman named Mona in the actual theatrical film. Go figure.)

_The story begins with Arnold arriving home after school. As he heads for the stairs, he hears chuckling. He follows the chuckling to the living room where Grandpa's looking at something._

Grandpa: (chuckling) Good ol' Eddy...

Arnold: Hi Grandpa, what are you looking at?

Grandpa: Oh, hey, short man. I just got a postcard from a dear friend of mine named Eddy. Here, have a looksie.

_Arnold goes up to Grandpa and inspects the postcard. On the front there's a picture of a palm tree and on the back is the message. When Arnold finishes reading he makes a starling discovery._

Arnold: Hey! This postcard's from my old teacher, Miss Slovak!

Grandpa: Well, of course it is! Who else do you know that retired from teaching and is now golfing on the warm, sandy beaches of Florida?

Arnold: Wow, Grandpa! I didn't know that you knew Miss Slovak.

Grandpa: Knew her? Why, if it wasn't for me, you would never have had the honor of calling her a teacher! Sit down, Short man; I've got a story to tell you.

_Arnold sits on the couch as Grandpa begins to reminisce._

Grandpa: It all started 70 years ago...

_FLASHBACK ALERT!_

_The flashback takes place sometime in the 1920's, when Grandpa was Arnold's age._

Grandpa: (narrating) Back when I was a lad, friends were a really big thing. Why, you'd sooner jump of a cliff with nothing but a spoon and a piece of string if it meant saving a pal's skin. But there was one group of friends that always stuck together through thick and thin. They called themselves the Surly Girly Gang.

Arnold: (breaking in): The Surly Girly Gang?

Grandpa: Yeah, that's what I thought when I first heard it, too. (narrating) Anywho, this gang of girls was a might colorful bunch. There was Gertie, that mischievous little imp of a girl, who was there leader. Then there was Mitzi, who was Gertie's best friend and my twin sister. She was the brains of the group, she was. Next came Violet Vitello, the nature freak and lover of flowers. She could name every part of the flower and their functions in less than a minute, she was so obsessed! And last but not least, there was Edna Slovak, or Eddy, for short. Eddy was certainly the most troublesome of the group, but she was also the most unpredictable, so us boys tried to keep our distance. Yes, sir, never had I seen such a crazy combination of kids. Nonetheless, we respected them, for if we didn't, Gertie would shake us up so bad we'd swear we were a ketchup bottle in an earlier life.

_The Surly Girly Gang walk down the street with Gerty leading the way. People avoid the as they walk by, except for Phil (Young Grandpa) and Jimmy Kafka, who are too busy playing marbles to notice them. Not until they are hovering right over him does Phil look up._

Gertie: Well, well, well. If it isn't Rusty Phil and Jimmy Cough-Cough? Playing marbles, I see.

Jimmy: Yeah, and you can't play, Gerty. This is a man's game.

Gerty: A MAN'S game? Then why are you chumps playing?

_The Surly Girly Gang laughs. Phil gives them a dirty look._

Jimmy: Don't listen to them, Phil. They're just a bunch of sissy girls.

Mitzi: SISSY? Why, you little...!

_Mitzi picks Jimmy up by the collar of his shirt. The Surly Girly Gang root on Mitzi while Phil tries to get his friend down._

Gertie: Hey, Mitz! Drop him!

_Mitzi scowls as she drops Jimmy in a small nearby puddle._

Mitzi: Jerk!

Gertie: The only way we'll be able to settle this is by a one-on-one marble match.

Jimmy: Oh, no! I already said no! You crummy girls ain't laying a finger on my marbles!

Mitzi: Say something else, Jimmy Kafka, so I can knock your teeth right outta that smart mouth of yours!

Gertie: I know why you don't want us to play. It's 'cause you know we'll beat your socks off!

Jimmy: That's not true!

Gertie: Bawk bawk buck-aw!

_Gertie does her impression of a chicken while the other girls laugh. Phil's anger gets the best of him and he speaks up._

Phil: We'll play you!

Jimmy: Wha...?

Gertie: That's more like it. Who do you pick?

Jimmy: (muttering under his breath) I'm not playing against any crummy girls...

Phil: I'll play, and I'll show you who's the better marble pro, Gertie!

Gertie: What? You think I'M competing against YOU? Eddy? Put this BOY in his place!

_Eddy walks up to the front of the group and takes a single marble out of her pocket. Now it's Phil and Jimmy's turn to laugh._

Jimmy: (laughing) You actually think she can beat me with just one stinkin' marble?

Mitzi: You just  watch, Jimmy! She'll be making a fool of you yet!

_And so, the marble battle begins. JImmy cheers for Phil while the Surly Girly Gang cheers for Eddy. But in the end..._

Gertie: The winner! Eddy the Invincible!

_The Surly Girly Gang whoop and holler as they walk off with all of Jimmy's marbles._

Gertie: Yes, sir! That ol' one marble trick works every time, Eddy! You oughta make a career out of marble playing!

Eddy: No thanks, I've got much bigger things to think about...like how much I can trade in these marbles for!

_The girls laugh as they disappear down the road. After their departure, Jimmy yells at Phil._

Jimmy: How can you be so dense?!

Phil; Hey, come on. It ain't that bad.

Jimmy: Ain't that bad?! They won all of my marbles! All 32 of 'em! And they were brand-new, too! It's gonna take me MONTHS 'fore I can afford another set! I TOLD you we shouldn't have played with them!

_Jimmy storms off. Phil is left standing alone to think to himself._

Grandpa: (narrating) It was right then and there that I learned something about Gertie and her hang.

Arnold: (breaking in) What was that?

Grandpa: For one, I knew they meant business. Second: I should never play marbles with them again.

**THE END**

 


End file.
